notesapp

11/03/2025

• the man working at the halal cart has seen me in every condition humanly possible and he still loves me

• i really wanted to fuck him when he said he didn’t know who bella hadid was

• there was a kid who told me he liked dinosaurs so i showed him jurassic park clips before i didn’t know he wasn’t allowed to watch them. when i had to leave he placed his little foot on my leg and begged me to stay with him. everyone is always mad at him because he hits

• i always order the same drink at every bar and it’s never anyone else’s first choice. but it’s beautiful because no one else loves it so it’s all mine. moscow mule

• if he really misses you he’ll send you an email

• i was tugging at my moms shirt in tears and she stood there stroking my head for as long as i needed and i realized that nothing else matters really

• my good friend gifted me a rosary with an instructions manual. i don’t need the manual anymore. with every bead i touch i think of someone new to pray for and it always surprises me that i know that many people. 54 to be exact

• i used to just sit there listening to records and wait for you to come but that wasn’t a great use of my time. now i see other people and hang out with my mom

• one of my best friends took too much adderall one night and texted me with maybe a hundred messages maybe more telling me they loved me. they asked me how i “do it.” soon after i rode a man through my clothes and through our kisses he asked me how i “do it”

• but i don’t really care about my thigh when it peeks through the top of my suspender tights. it is just a thigh. but the indentation, the squeeze where the tight fabric and plump skin meet, where the circulation cuts off

• i always wanted to get married but now i’m scared. they will cheat one day. no exceptions i believe. i don’t even want a boyfriend

• a nice boy asked me out on a date i think. it was my dream date and i couldn’t go because pms. but i am glad i couldn’t. i thought about how he deserves someone normal

• there is a lot of fantasy to you the way you move your hands sometimes. i love it when you speak german because you do it fast like everything else and i cant really make most of it out but i catch the important words like “schönes mädchen”

• i really want to get stoned but i promised Mother Mary i wouldn’t

• rewatching the sopranos for the fifth time

• when things get really hard i deactivate my instagram even if for a few days because it helps me weed out the people who care about me. social media is convenient and good friendships aren’t. and i give those people the most attention which fills me

• warm weather always means that someone is going to leave me but i think this time it will be different

• whenever i flirt these days which is often i feel ashamed

• i don’t feel ashamed when i pray

• drank too much on halloween and spoke to everybody in my sight. spilt fake blood on the floor of my friend’s dorm. told a guy while i was playing pool that i’d kiss him if he got a shot and then he made three in a row. you give a man incentive

• i get along with finance bros really well i think we underestimate them spiritually. they’re emotionally stifled which paradoxically means they feel everything very much. recently i’ve gotten outwardly colder and it gets mistaken for nonchalance but i’m not about that. and they have the same thing going on

• playing coolmathgames

• i have never been in love

• and in the end they’ll be sorry and you have to forgive them